Making Better Grownups
Making Better Grownups is a podcast dedicated to powerful testimonies that will make you say “You’re never gonna believe this”!
Through storytelling and authentic interviews, we will connect on a deep level and discover the interconnectedness we have as humans. These stories are not only meant to engage and entertain but also to challenge your perspectives, fuel inspiration, and explore the complexities of growing up.
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Making Better Grownups
E7 - My Daughter's Near-Death Experience Changed Me | Teen Mom Statistic Part 2
In this intense and emotional episode, host Leaha Bourgeois shares the dramatic story of the day her oldest daughter Madison nearly died in her arms and how it transformed her from merely a parent into a true mommy.
When Madison was just 3 years old, a freak accident happened leaving her wrist slit all while the entire family was away on a cruise. Leaha had to take emergency action to stop the bleeding and get Madison to the hospital, not knowing if her daughter would survive. Surprise…she was on her way to meet up with a blind date of all things! A stranger who became her guardian angel that day, comforting her through the ordeal and reappearing years later to reconnect.
Somehow finding the strength to trust God in the darkest moment of her life, it was then that Leaha went from feeling like just a teenage parent to truly becoming Madison’s mommy.
A must-listen episode for all parents! This stirring story illustrates the depths of a mother's love and the remarkable strength found in hardship. Leaha's journey demonstrates how we can gain wisdom and maturity when forced to grow up fast.
⭐️ Be sure to listen to episode 6 which is the first part of this 2 part series!
➡️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VmBXJ5GHRI
⭐️ On another note, if you want to help support the podcast, please consider joining us on Patreon. Your monthly donation helps me keep making episodes each week. Special giveaways for folks who are donating to help keep this show alive!
➡️ https://www.patreon.com/makingbettergrownups
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Imagine it's the year 2000,. Y2k. We thought we were all going to be destroyed and the computers were going to take over our world. But guess what? That didn't happen. But something else massive happened to me that year, one of the most life-changing experiences that actually took me from becoming a parent to becoming a mom, and it was the time that my daughter almost died in my arms. Let's get to it, we can better go up. I'm so glad you guys are back with us.
Leaha:This week we are going into part two of Teenage Mom Statistic. Yep, that's my story, and if you heard episode six last week, you will be very familiar with the story of me getting pregnant and going to jail all within the same month and driving my parents sideways. That was me. But this story today is a continuation of this incredible, crazy story of me becoming a mom. Now, we all know I became a mom at the age of 16 and I had my daughter when I was 17,. But I really didn't, really really didn't become a mommy until I was 20. So I can't wait to jump in the story with you, but this is a really hard, hard story for me. It's very triggering. It's not easy for me to talk about this kind of stuff. So I'm going to try to get through it without being too melodramatic, but everything I'm telling you is a true story. This is my lens. I like to always remind you that there are different characters in every story that we tell, and the characters that I'm going to bring into the story today I'm not going to use names, but they are real people and they really were a part of my life and had a huge impact on my life, and sometimes I like to think of them as like little angels of time, like they came in for a certain amount of time and they touched my life in a very specific way and it was just unforgettable and, honestly, some people just don't believe these stories. So I hope you can stick around long enough to hit the end of the story, you guys, because the end of the story is probably the craziest part of the story, which is a lot of my stories. So stick around till the end, where you get to hear the outcome of not only this amazing friend who came into my life, but the miracle of me becoming a mommy.
Leaha:If you're listening on YouTube right now, please click the bell, smash the bell, as they say, or whatever it is, so that you'll be reminded every week to join us here, live going through these stories and joining me and looking the eye to eye as I tell you some incredible stories and actually getting into some really fun interviews with other people and their stories. So make sure to hit like and hit that bell so that you'll hear us every single week and come back for fresh new content. And if you're listening on the podcast channels Making Better Grown Ups, please make sure to rate and review. This is incredibly important to us so we know what we need to do in the future to keep you listening and your AirPods in your ears. Thank you for all those who are listening and tuning into all of this gabbing that I've been doing.
Leaha:Very soon we're going to have guests on and speakers and people and their stories, and it's just going to get crazier and crazier. The way that we can keep this thing going. You guys, we're going for 10 episodes we're almost there and after that we're going to level things up. We need support. Patreoncom slash Making Better Grown Ups. I don't know if you're familiar with this, but it's a platform and a way for you to financially give to us, because we are running deep in this podcast. Not a lot of money, but we're trying to bring great content and a quality that will be timeless for you. So any giving that you can give monthly, all the way from $5 to $10 to $20 to $20,000. Hey, we will accept it graciously. That's patreoncom forward slash making better grownups.
Leaha:Let's get into the show, all right. So let's just imagine the year 2000. Where were you at Y2K? Did you have a Y2K party? Did you sit in a place with all your friends and hold your breath? I did. We all rented a hotel room and we literally held hands and held our breath and squinted as hard as possible and prayed to God that the TV didn't explode, that the news channels didn't come on and be like the world is ending. We literally were preparing for the worst. I don't know what we thought was going to happen, but we were just like something bad is going to happen. And then we held our breath and we were like and nothing, nothing happened. And we were like what's the big deal? Phones are still working, tv seems to still be working and we looked outside and the cars are still driving. We're like all right, cheerio. And we went on with our evening and had a good time. That's all I'll say about that. It was your 2000. So that was definitely my rave days and some big pants. That's a whole other episode, right For a whole other podcast, like I always say, so it's your 2000. We didn't go under the computers might have had a glitch or whatever, but we all survived it and I was in my height of my just living my best life, college career.
Leaha:But I want to kind of take you back a couple of steps and just remind you how I got to the year 2000. I keep I'm sorry, I just got to say it you know that song we're here to the year 3000. I feel like I need to put that. But, like in the 2000, we're here in the year of 2000. I've been singing that song all day as I've been practicing for this. So let's just go back a little bit before the year 2000.
Leaha:I had my daughter in 1997, also graduated high school in 1997. So it was a big year for me and I, as I graduated, I remember I went on scholarship to TW, that's Texas Women University. Shout out to all my pioneers. I know it was weird now that I think about it. Then I went to an all women's college, but there were men there, even though it's a women's founded college. I kind of am thinking back and I'm like that's probably what saved my life. Having a daughter saved my life because I had to go home and check on her. I had to be there. My parents wouldn't let me get away with it, but I was surrounded by like women, career women, people who came back from like careers to go back to college. I'm not my age as well, but like it was pretty safe now that I think about it, unt, where I would go get my post baccalaureate stuff that was a whole other thing. There were boys there and a lot of distractions, but at that time I was older and it wasn't as important. So, anyways, I'm just going to back away from that conversation slowly. I was in college and, just a reminder, madison was with me. That's my daughter, my oldest daughter, who's about to be 27, which is nuts. I was raising her alongside my mom and my dad and my brother was somewhere in the mix as well and going to college.
Leaha:Jack, the man who helped me create this beautiful creature, he was no longer in my life and if you listen to episode six, I go into a deep, deep dive on that, about how going to jail actually saved me and my daughter from probably not being alive today. It's a pretty scary story, but it's a great redemption story as well. So episode six really goes over all those details. But to catch you up, I didn't get to speak to Jack because Jack went to prison and we were not in relationship anymore and I went to college and was like making new life for myself. My dad got me that green car and I took that car every day to college, into weekend parties and was living my best life while my relationship with Jack and his family was dissolving slowly.
Leaha:The record was what was keeping us away from each other in the beginning, but then eventually I just made a decision. I was like I want to date people, I want to be around people, I want to have experiences in life and I can't keep looking back for this man to see when he's going to show up and like be the man I need him to be. I remember the exact time. Actually, I'm kind of going off script a little bit right now because I'm looking at my notes and I'm like I don't know where the hell I'm at right now, where am I at? In my notes, I remember the last time I saw him and I made the definitive decision that I would never look back. Maddie was just a few weeks old and he was not in prison at the time, and so he had requested, through my mom and his mom talking somehow, to see her just for like 10 minutes. Can I just see my daughter for 10 minutes? And I thought, you know, it's the least I could do in all this chaos to let him see his child. It's the right thing to do, right, it's the right thing to do. So.
Leaha:I remember we were driving up to the donut store. His mom worked at a donut store part time, I think I'm not really quite sure of all the details and my mom knew that I couldn't be around him, so she's like you have to stay in the car. And it was raining, I remember, because the windshield wipers went. That is not a good windshield wiper sound, but that's what it is in my mind. They were going slow and the rain was just kind of coming down and my mom wrapped up Maddie real tight and bundled her up and covered her up and just ran up that ramp.
Leaha:I remember watching every detail of this, like in slow motion, and she goes into the donut store, unwraps the baby they're all oohing and oing, his family's there. All I wanted to do was run in there and grab her out. There was just something in deep in my gut that said, what if he took her and ran? What if he decided this is the day that I'm going to really get back at Leah and I'm going to like hurt her or he'll just take her or hold my mom up with a gun. I really did not know. I mean, I'd had guns on me and had like mace in my face and I'd been stabbed. So I really there was nothing on the table that I didn't think could happen in that donut store. The huge, gigantic windows of the donut store I could see every detail of what was happening.
Leaha:All I wanted to do was protect her in that moment, but I felt so I don't know, kind of useless, like I really can't do anything, because if I get out and I physically get in the same room as this man, I'm breaking the law and they're going to come for me and handcuff me and take me away, like again. Remember I told you I thought I was going to die if I smoke weed. I thought I was like going to go to prison for the rest of my life if I broke the law again. So I take things very seriously and I remember looking in that window and it's hard to talk about because I kind of wish it wasn't real. And a lot of my story is hard to talk about because I don't want you to know dark places in my life. I want you to see the light that comes out of me, because I want you to see God and want you to see hope, and I think that's all born out of darkness. I think that my excitement for life and my passions for life and my resilience for things is come out of the darkest, darkest places that I've had to dig out of or crawl out of or ask for help out of or run from or run to God from.
Leaha:Sometimes I would be like why did he put me in so many situations like this? Like what kind of God does that? But I put myself in a lot of those situations and he decided to teach me through them. He reached down and he taught me through those moments. And these are those moments. These are hard to talk about, you guys, but I just want to show you what it looks like to talk about hard shit, because if you're going to sit with me and talk about your hard shit, I'm going to talk about my hard shit.
Leaha:So he held my baby for the first time. I call her my baby. That was kind of weird. I said that, but I still do this thing. Think she's mine and he picked her up. He was cradling her like you know, like oh, isn't she cute? And he was touching her face and I could see everything. And then the 10 minutes was up and mom's like all right, and I saw my mom like the baby, and he kind of nudged, like I'm not done, and I was like oh, no, no, no, and I'm squirming. At this point I'm like I'm going to jump out of this car and I'm going to like go grab her.
Leaha:What he did next was the deciding factor that I could not ever be seen with this man, be with this man, be in love with this man or ever even look at him in a way where I could respect him. He literally took her and showed her to me like this baby, and he stuck his tongue out like a demon of sorts and wiggled his tongue into the, into the glass, like evil, evil. And he kind of looked at me and he turned his head and his eyes had this darkness in them, from far away, and he just kind of looked at me. And then he looked at her and I saw him trying to spread that evil into that child. And in that moment my mom looked at me from that window and I looked at mom and I said get her now.
Leaha:My mom grabbed the baby forcefully, wrapped her up and ran to the car and said I don't know what she said, but I remember we both felt it, we both felt the evil and I was like I don't want to be dramatic, you guys, because when I say evil, y'all might be like that's so dramatic. No, oh, there's been a fight for my life, most of my life, good and evil, and I've teetered on that line of near death, near all kinds of things, situations, most of my life. And this was my taste of evil. I was like that was evil. Not that I didn't think all the other shit he put me through was an evil, I thought that was just circumstantial. Like man, he made some bad choices, he's got some bad friends, he's just a bad kid who needs to grow up. Nope, folks, that was evil, that was evil.
Leaha:And so, as I'm looking at him and he's making that face at me and my mom takes that baby and she puts her in the backseat like something's after her, she straps that baby in and I look at her and I was like mom, we got to go. She's like, yes, we do. When she put that car in reverse. I looked in that window one more time just to get a good look at what I was leaving and he lifted up his shirt with one hand and then a like a hand in the air, like what's up, kind of hand, and a demon is tattooed on his entire abdomen. That tells me a couple things. Number one, I was right. Number two, I was really right. Not, I didn't have a perception like a like I'm gonna look, he's just like. Like he's too tattooed, he's a bad guy. No, that was evil. And to go and get it tattooed on your body as a signification of who you are, that's a long cover up if you ever change your heart. That's a long time in a tattoo chair to get that shit covered up.
Leaha:But in that moment, the way he treated her, the way that he looked at me and the symbol on his body, I knew in that moment I was a single parent and I would probably be a single parent the rest of my life, at least with her. It was a hard pill to swallow, I'm not gonna lie, because I was deeply in love with this guy and I was like, oh, we go limp forever, promise rings, all the things, I mean shit. I even went to jail. I was so mad at him. But here we are. That was it. That's when God said now you see him for what he is, go. So I did.
Leaha:And that's when I decided to dabble in my own darkness. Oh man, I didn't walk a holy line of greatness, you guys. I made some interesting and poor decisions, some wacky and fun decisions. I have no regrets about any of my decisions in my life, only if they affected people in a negative way, like the other people around me. I do regret that. But all the decisions and all the stories that I tell you, I wouldn't change them, and I know everybody says that and it's so cliche, but I really wouldn't Like God put me on this earth to go through some crazy stuff.
Leaha:He knew I could handle it and he knew that I needed like really big, wide open, like slam the door, turn the lights on, wake up, leah. That kind of stuff I need. That kind of stuff I can't be like. So let's go learn a lesson. That's not me. I was just talking to my husband about it just a minute ago. I was like if I look at you and say are you okay? Intensely, I really mean it. I'm not the girl that's going to ask you Are you okay? That's just not me. Listen to my podcast. I'm like up in your face, I'll put on this microphone and I started really having to come into my own for the first time.
Leaha:College was like me coming into myself. I won't get too detailed and I'm trying to figure out where the heck I am in my notes right now, but raves were a huge part of my life dancing on the weekends, college four days a week, working for my dad on Fridays and half a day Saturdays. My schedule was really busy. I didn't really have a lot of time to get in true trouble, but like the real, real trouble. No matter how far I went on my party nights or how late it went, my night ended early. Everyone's like we're going to the after party. And I would go to the after party, make a debut, take some pictures, because I was there and I was cool, and then I had to leave. I had a child to raise. There was no stay till the next day or go to the hotel or whatever the heck everybody else was doing. I didn't really have those choices all the time.
Leaha:And I would go back home and my dad's rule was, no matter how late you were out, because he'd lay on the floor in the living room. He would lay on the floor in the living room sleeping, waiting for me to get home. No matter if it was 4am, 6am, 8am, it didn't matter, he'd go, you're good, and I'd say yep, and I'd go sleep for the hour, two, three that I got. And when that baby woke up and that cry came through the hallway, guess who had to get up Me? I had to get up, I had to get up with her and I just waited for nap time. Thank God for nap time.
Leaha:So when nap times ended, it got a lot harder. That's all I'm going to say. It got a lot harder to stay out really late. It really made my decision making on 2am or 5am a very different decision. So I'm really proud of my family, my mom, my dad and my brother and I collaboratively, even through my brother's senior year in high school, we raised this child. It was a team effort, it was a village and I can't take credit that I did it alone. But in that moment when I looked in his eyes and I saw that on his body it was a unison, yep from the whole family that we're moving in a completely different direction and there would be consequences for those choices, for not having the other side of her family be a part of her life. And that will come in way later in this story.
Leaha:But right now I just want to remind you about the year 2000, how we started this story, that from 1997 to the year 2000, I was graduating high school, going into college, having the good time, partying with balance of school and dating a lot and trying to find the love of my life. I'm telling you guys right now, I dated quite a few men, boys, whatever you want to call them, and you might be like that's a lot, but I was on this search, the hunt for the perfect man who would make a great dad and then a husband. I'm serious, every guy I broke up with I would just look him in the face. I'm like, listen, you're so cute or you're so kind, and I would tell them what they did for me, what I learned from them, what I gained from this experience with them. This little blip in time, and then I would break their heart and tell them it ain't going to work and they'd always like why? But most of them would be like why? I had a couple pissed off like fine, you go, girl, just all of it was your stupid self. But most of them were heartbroken Because I'm just like you're not the husband material that I need and you can't be a dad to my daughter. Just to be real, it's different when you have a child. When you're dating it's not the same. You don't just get to be like say, lovey, let's just date whoever. I never did that. It was always hunting for my husband and I don't know if it was right and I don't know if it was wrong, but it definitely landed me a great guy in the in-game. So I guess it really worked in the in-game.
Leaha:But my parents and my entire family back in 2000 decided they were going to go on a cruise and I was like I really don't want to go on a cruise. That means I'm going to miss school. Where's Maddie going to go? I'm going to go cruise with Maddie. That doesn't sound fun Like having a kid on a cruise ship. And so they all went without me and back in those days we were on like Nokia phones and stuff. We didn't have smartphones and internet and Wi-Fi, all that stuff. None of that was happening. It was like Nokia where you want to. I don't even think we could text. I don't even remember, but I'm pretty sure there was no texting then, it was just phone calls. So they decided to go on this cruise and I decided to stay back and go to school and take care of my daughter. And I just remember being so proud I was like I'm going to be a parent. I'm going to be a parent. I'm a big girl now. I don't need nobody's help. Look at me. I got the whole house to myself. Only suck, because I didn't have a babysitter so I couldn't go out. So you thought that's what you think. But I am a clever Gemini. I always find a way around every situation.
Leaha:And so I decided this would be the perfect opportunity to go on a blind date with my daughter. I know you're thinking what? What? Yeah, like I don't exactly remember how I came across this guy. I don't know, I don't remember. I can't lie about it because I don't remember. But I just remember he was very kind and we were calling each other back and forth and he's like let's just totally go out, like with your daughter. What does she like to do? I'm like she's three, she's just annoying and loud and cries. She wants to run. She knows she wants to run. He's like why don't we just go out and talk to her Run? He's like why don't we just start by meeting up and we'll go have dinner? I was like, okay, good luck with that. But I agreed upon it because he was a really genuinely just nice guy. We were both into dance music that we had in common. So I was like it's a good starting point, right? Nice guy loves dance music. Check, check. I don't know what the third check is, but we'll figure it out.
Leaha:And I remember we were supposed to meet at a gas station. Now in Texas it's unlike Jersey there is a gas station at every exit on the highway, literally every exit. You can see it. You just get off, you get gas, you get a Coke, some candy, you get back on. It's just a Texas thing and, side note, if you don't know something about Texas, this is a fun fact. Well, it's my fun fact. I'm not sure it's a fact like in stone, but anyone who stops at a gas station, they always get a gigantic Coke or soda, whatever you want to call it Pishposh, and they have a drink all day long. So what do I do? I'm like, well, if I'm going to meet him at a gas station, I'm going to get a giant Coke. And Maddie was like crying because she was thirsty and she didn't want her water, she wanted the apple juice. And I'm like, okay, whatever, so I get her the apple juice. I get a gigantic Coke, even though I'm about to literally go on a date and have dinner. It's whatever. I had one right before I got on this podcast, hence why I'm talking so freaking fast.
Leaha:Okay, so this is when the story gets a little wild. So I want you to lean in and pay attention. Don't jump off your AirPods quite yet. Here it goes, okay. So picture it I'm standing at the cash register at this gas station on the side of a very, very busy highway in Fort Worth, texas.
Leaha:My daughter is three. She's like rambunctious and energetic, like all three year olds are, and the glass bottle of apple juice and my gigantic Coke or soda is sitting right next to it and I'm digging in my purse trying to find my money. This is before debit cards. I had to pay in cash, just so you know your 2000. I'm pulling out my money and I'm trying to pay and I'm trying to get the correct amount of money and this little girl decides to grab the apple juice and start hot tailing it and running out the front door.
Leaha:This was a gas station I never stopped at, I don't know why. I guess I just thought we would meet at this one because it was on his exiting side and I would be the good person and I would cross the highway to meet him at his exit. I don't freaking know. And she's running out the doors and it's automated doors so they automatically just wide open. And then you are literally running into the gas pumps and I'm yelling at her Maddie, stop. First of all, never run after a kid holding a glass bottle. This is the biggest takeaway from the beginning of the story.
Leaha:And as I'm running towards her to try and like save her life from getting hit by a car. I remember she glanced back now. She had really luscious, big, dark, thick hair and big old eyes and she had bangs too, I just remember, and she had a huge like pony on top of her head and she turned around and when she looked at me it was like to like go, like haha, you can't catch me. But when she turned around to look at me, something tripped her feet up and she fell to the ground and I at first was angry. I was like Maddie, like my voice was like angry. I was like what are you like, what are you doing falling on the ground? And also, I haven't paid for that. Remember, I've already been to jail.
Leaha:And then when I got to her and I went to pick her up, the glass I could see it strewn across and the juice was everywhere. And that moment I realized, oh shit, that was glass. They don't really make glass bottles much anymore, like Snapple and stuff, and maybe does it, but not really anymore. And a lot of the stuff back then was glass and I'm not going to get into the glass versus plastic shit right now, because this is about something way more important. But she tripped and all I could see was her body laying on the ground face down. I couldn't see her face because after she looked at me and she turned back around, she tripped, her head was down on the ground and when I went to pick her up like under her arms, like every mom does, like flip her over and pick her up I remember her arm. She had stuck it towards my face to like reach out for me, and there was just blood dripping from her arm.
Leaha:This is not an easy story to tell. Honestly. I've never told this story in full, except for the people who are closest to me. It's very triggering. But when I picked her up she was lifeless and her cry was more like a moan and her arm was dripping like guys, like gushing, and I didn't know what to do. I wasn't trained. My mom was a nurse and I avoided all things scary and blood and needles and shots. And I just remember when I picked her up and she looked at me and she was so scared and I met her with the same scared. We were equally scared. I just went into panic mode but also survival mode, like that's what parents do. You don't have a manual, you don't know how to do things. You just like have gut instincts and you just start doing stuff and you just hope to God it was the right gut instinct and that it's going to work.
Leaha:I picked her up and I was going to pick her up under her arms, but when I saw her arm, I didn't know what was cut, I didn't know what was gashed, I didn't know if there was glass inside of her. I didn't know. All I knew was the amount of blood that was coming out of her and the color in her face was draining, that this was life or death. I just knew it. And there was no one there. It was just me and this cash register guy and a bunch of people at a gas pump and the music from the gas station was playing. I remember and I was just like I picked her up. It was.
Leaha:I can remember a lot of details about the story. When I picked her up, I actually took two hands and I grabbed her by the wrist, where she was bleeding from, and I yanked her by the arm and I was holding her like a rag doll with two hands as tight as I could. I'm doing it right now. I was white knuckled, white knuckled and I literally y'all. I picked her up and I ran into the store and I sat her on the floor still holding with two hands clasped around her arm so tight I couldn't even feel my hands anymore and I was screaming at the top of my lungs 911. Someone call 911. And he's looking me like he's fumbling around. It was like a movie. He was fumbling around Okay. Okay, hold on, hold on, I'm gonna call. I was like 911. And so he's like okay, and I seen calling 911. He said they'll be here in like three or four minutes.
Leaha:I was in the middle of the gas station. There was blood everywhere and the guy running the you know the gas station obviously is panicking too and he's like come here, come here, come here. And so he helps me drag her. I'm still clenching her hand above her head with two hands white knuckling her, and I'm literally praying out loud, like you could have heard me on an intercom in Fort Worth, texas, in that moment, because I was praying really loud. You know, I was the girl I told you in another episode where I was on the back pew of the church and I was real quiet. Not today.
Leaha:I was on the front row, hands lifted in the air on my knees, begging and praying to God that I would do the right next thing to save this child's life. It was loud and anyone who came in that store came over and stood right next to me and right next to the cashier and they were all looking out the window waiting on that ambulance. There was like a huddle of people surrounding me and this is what's really crazy. I just remember sitting there. She was in my lap and I'm holding her arm up, clenching that arm as hard as I can. I have no idea what's under that hand. I don't know what's cut. I don't know. All I know is the blood is still coming out through my fingers. It's all over me, it's all over her, it's all over the floor, it is everywhere. It's a. It looks like a massacre and she is blinking and it's getting slower and slower and slower and those five minutes felt like 5,000 freaking years and I just kept singing Jesus loves me over and over and over, because that's what we sing every night, when we rocked, and I was just rocking her and singing it, I mean over and over and over and over and over, and clenching, and I remember this little girl comes up with her mom and she says Hi, this little girl, she had him in three.
Leaha:And the mom kneels down and she's like Okay, we're just going to pray over you, okay. And I'm like Okay, and I just kept singing. I didn't even like talk back, I just kept singing Jesus loves me. And I was just singing at the top of my lungs and the little girl looks at Maddie and she gets down on her level and she's like what's your name, little girl? To my daughter? And Maddie can't talk right. And the little girl looks to her and she says my name is Madison. And I was like what? God sent this little angel girl with the same name to stand in front of me and encourage me that it's going to be okay. We got this, guys.
Leaha:It was so hard, it was so hard. And then, remember, I heard the sirens coming. You could hear them coming from a long ways away. And that's when I knew, oh, my God, this is almost over. Whatever this is, it's almost over.
Leaha:I actually started crying and screaming because I was saying I'm getting weak and I can't hold her any longer. I can't squeeze any longer, I have to let go. But yeah, I couldn't let go like at the same time, because it was just so like innate in me to just squeeze the life out of her, but also like at this point her eyes were closed and I didn't know she was conscious. I didn't, I didn't know, I didn't know what was going on and I just kept trying to jerk her and sing songs to her and about that time the people came running through the door and of course, they clear everybody out and I wasn't able to say thank you. I wasn't able to say anything to these people. They would just shoot out as fast as possible, and I have feelings around that too.
Leaha:I wonder how they felt about that situation. You know like what it did to them to see that and just want to stay and sit in it with me. I hope God bless their life for that, because I wasn't. I was alone, but I wasn't like truly alone in that moment. They were little angels, people sent to help me, to remind me and encourage me, and just remember being so in shock, yet comforted at the same time. I was covered completely in blood, like I wore a white shirt that day.
Leaha:Ironically, and let me grab a tissue If you're watching the YouTube, you can watch me cry, cry along with me. Always have a tissue for these podcasts, by the way, because there is a chance there is going to be crying. Lots of laughing, lots of crying. The sirens are sounding. You can hear them coming from far away like echoing.
Leaha:The people are starting to move around because the guys from the ambulance have jumped off in uniform and they are rushing through blood and through the scene to get to me and they're like I just remember one of the first things I heard them say was you did a great job. They haven't even helped me yet and they're telling me you did a great job. And I think what they were trying to say is you kept her alive. That was code, for you saved her. They kept telling me we're going to take her to the ambulance and you can come with us. We don't want you to let go of her yet. Can you keep clenching? And it was weird because I was like, yes, but I was so exhausted and so tired that I didn't know if I could and I was scared, if I let go, what would happen. But I couldn't let go. There was just so much blood, you guys. There was just so freaking much blood. There was so much. But they promised me she would be okay. So I sat in the ambulance and they said, on the count of three, we want you to let go. And I was like I can't. They're like you did a great job. You've got to let her go. And that's when I had to give my trust to two complete strangers that have a medical background and give God control of the situation fully and let go. It was really hard. So they grabbed her arm on the count of three and very quickly took it away from me and one of the officers that was on the scene. He said, ma'am, come here, sit right here. And he got, got me a water. He's like I need you to drink this.
Leaha:I've sat on the edge of the ambulance and I kept looking back to check on her and I couldn't hear her cry. I didn't hear anything and they're working frantically doing something. I have no idea what it was, but I was just trying to like breathe at this point and make sure I was okay, because for the first time in my life I was selfless. I put her needs above mine, above everything. For the first time I'd never really had to do that and I just sat on the edge of that ambulance, all by myself, and my tears were just hitting my knees and that cop was trying to console me and tell me it's going to be okay.
Leaha:And then the they got her stable and they got it under control and came out to assure me that the only reason that she was alive was because of what I did. And I said what did I do besides pray? And they said did you know when someone's bleeding, especially you know their arm or their leg, that you should put that higher than the rest of their body and put as much pressure as possible to stop? And I was like no, I literally was panicking, just doing whatever it took. Is she going to be okay? And they're like you saved her life? She saved her life. We'll know more when we get to the hospital how deep the cut is. And I just said what did she cut? I haven't even seen it yet. They're like ma'am, she slit her wrist, fully, across her entire wrist. And when you hear slit your wrist, what do you think? You think someone's taking their life? It's not like accident, like oops, accidentally just slit my wrist. It's usually intentional.
Leaha:And then that moment I realized something tried to take my baby away from me. It was intentional and I was not okay with it. Knowing I had quote unquote saved her life wasn't really the wind for me, it was that I wasn't scared enough to sit in that moment and trust God For the first time. I stopped and paused long enough to be like she's yours, please help her. She's mine, but she's yours. You know. Just think about how much blood she lost. They said it wasn't the blood loss. That was the really bad part. They said it was really bad, but it wasn't as bad as you think it was. How deep that it cut. That was really scary. You know, it really hit me.
Leaha:I was alone, like alone, alone, alone. My parents were on a freaking cruise, my whole family was on a cruise. I could not reach anyone. Jack was non-existent, my parents were cruising, my brother was cruising, my aunt and uncle were cruising and God perfectly positioned me to trust him and need him and see my daughter above all else and in that moment I realized this is mine, she's my daughter. I was not just her parent anymore, she was mine, like I birthed that child. I might have shared the duties and I'm grateful for all of the help, but in that moment I became a mom. I went from a parent to a mommy. That's nuts. It's crazy that it took three years, right?
Leaha:God showed me what it looked like to lose her, a life without her. The one thing that sometimes I'd be like I got to go home, guys, I got a kid, and they'd be like, oh man, that's cool, but sucks, I'm like it is what it is. There was many, many, many times that I probably would not be alive if I didn't go home early. You never know, I don't know. All I know is in that moment, that day, it was me and it was her, and that was all that was there. And God, and, oh my God, my blind date. You forgot, didn't you? You forgot I was supposed to meet my blind date. I told y'all to stick around to the end of the story. This is just gonna get more interesting as we go. Hang in there.
Leaha:So the policeman, right, he's sitting on the edge of the ambulance with me and he's calming me down. He's asking my name. He's getting all my information right, because this has to be reported. Maddie is not conscious. She is back in the ambulance but she's well taking care of. They've got her on a drip. They've got all the things going. They've got her stabilized. Her wrist is stabilized.
Leaha:At this point I'm just drenched in blood, I am starving and I'm panicked. I'm just I don't even know what I was and the policeman's like you know. So is there anyone we can call? I'm like actually no, there's no one I can call. He's like what do you mean? I was like everyone's on a cruise. He's like oh, oh, you know, he felt for me on a deep level, but there's nothing he could do. He's like are you sure you can't think of one person? And I was like oh my God. And like literally all. It was like like the shutter on a camera. I went, I'm on a blind date and he's like, excuse me. I was like oh my God, oh my God. I was supposed to be on a blind date, like he was supposed to be here. Where is he?
Leaha:And at that point I'm freaking out because I'm like there is a man that doesn't know what I look like and doesn't know who. I am looking for me and I don't know what he looks like and I wasn't even looking for him. Is he in this parking lot? And I'm scanning the parking lot and I'm like I don't know what he looks like. He's like can you give me a description? No, I've never seen him. He's like oh my God, what are the odds? I'm like, I don't know. He's like do you know? You know like what his car looks like? And I was like yes, I do know what his car looks like. It's red. That's all I knew was a red car. Because he said when you're in the parking lot, you know, look for a red car and that's where you'll find me. And I'm like cool, red car, sports car. So the other way, he's like ma'am, I don't see a red car. I was like sir, I swear he said red car.
Leaha:At this point I kind of forgot about Maddie for a split second because I was like oh my God, there's another person that needs me right now. This is not a good time. How am I going to explain my? Oh my God, look at me. I'm covered in blood. My jaw is chattering. I'm in shock. I don't need to be meeting nobody right now.
Leaha:But I didn't have the proper cell phone, I guess, at the time and I couldn't just text him. Hey, emergency canceled. See you next week. Nope, the cops like listen, I want you to stay here. We're still running the report, we're still, you know, doing all the things. I'm going to run and I'm going to call some other officers around the area to go check out other gas stations because, remember, I told you there's a gas station on every corner. So this specific corner of the highway had two major gas stations One was on the east and one was on the west. I was on the west. The cop drives off and I'm sitting nearby myself and just kind of pondering what the hell just happened to me. Like this is like so traumatic.
Leaha:And all of a sudden the cop is driving back into the drive through the gas pumps with his lights on and there's a red car following him. The date had been across the highway at the wrong gas station, saw the ambulance and all the chaos from across the way. I mean, like man, what the heck's going on over there, not thinking it could be his potential date? And he jumps out of that red car and he runs up to me and he's so sweet and so kind and so pale. I remember he was so white and he looked at me and he was like oh my God, what happened? And I was just like he's like no, no, no, never mind, it doesn't matter.
Leaha:And in that moment I was like man, this dude is legitimately kind. He's like what do you need from me? And I was like I don't know, I need my parents and I need this. He's like, listen, we're going to get through this together. Like he just just manned up all of a sudden, this stranger, and told me we're going to get through this together. Please do not worry, I will follow you there. So I don't remember this, like the specific logistics. I'm pretty I'm pretty sure I left my car at the gas station. I'm pretty sure I did, and I rode in the ambulance and he followed in his red car. I'm pretty sure that's how it went down. And he hugged me when we got to the hospital and he's like I'm so sorry that you had to go through this alone. That's what he said. I was like that is a great pickup line and he didn't know this.
Leaha:But I'm frightened of hospitals. Just the smell of a hospital makes me like I don't like needles, I don't like blood and I definitely don't like children and pain, crying, and all of these things were about to happen to me all at the same time. So the minute we hit that hospital, it was rushing. They were rushing Maddie in. We were all chasing that rush. We were told to wait while they got her, you know, on the table and all these things. And I'm looking at this strange man that I've never met and I'm like listen to me, I don't do needles, I don't do blood, I might pass out. And he's like I got you, you're not going to pass out. She needs you, he said, and I was like, oh shoot, he said he needs me and she really did need me.
Leaha:Because what I did not understand is that when they stitch you up at a hospital, you legit have to hold your child down through the pain. Seriously, I had to sit on top of her and lovingly, after what she'd already been through, look in her eyes and sing Jesus loves me 20 more times. I just had to get it out. I had to do it, I had to do what I had to do. And this young man that I just met, in his red car, he held an arm down and I held an arm down and I sat on her and through my tears I cried and she just wailed and then eventually she tired out and she just kind of zombied out on me and got really tired because she'd been through so much. I just don't think she had anything left inside of her. And all to think this was a matter of like four hours. My whole life changed and a stranger witnessed the whole thing.
Leaha:17 stitches, 17 across her wrist. That's a lot of stitches. I've been through some stitches situations with my other children, trace to be specific. He's the stitching guy. He loves to get a big gape in his face and have it stitched. Bless his heart. Those are like three, four stitches.
Leaha:This was 17. I know this because in the years coming after that she would ask me what are these? And I would tell her you know that's a big part of your story. And she would count them one, two, three, four. The little X's on her wrist. It's crazy. She was a couple of millimeters away from her main artery. I don't know what it would have took for it to hit the main artery If she wasn't looking back, or if I didn't hold and squeeze long enough, or if the glass, whatever was at the wrong angle, but I believe that God intersected Just a couple of millimeters.
Leaha:He intersected what was life and death for my daughter and he gave me an opportunity to be with her as her mom and not just her parent, and to grow up. I didn't have a choice. Maybe I did have a choice, but I didn't have a choice. I was all she had in that moment and that man was sent to me as a little angel to comfort me and guide me through one of the most growing up situations I've ever been, and I had no one to call and reflect with or call. They're like oh my God, you know what happened to me. Like there was no family to rescue me and drive me home.
Leaha:It was just me, the blind date and my very lethargic daughter at the end. Hours and hours and hours and hours later he's walking me out the door and he's like I'm so sorry this went like that. I was like well, you could have never changed it, but thank you, I thought it was a God moment for me, that God was showing me something in that moment. I didn't know what it was at the moment, but I'm sure it figured out. I've always been kind of like that, but he carried me through a really hard time and I thought how in the world will I ever repay this man for selflessly taking care of a stranger and her almost dying daughter. He didn't sign up for that.
Leaha:We were outside by his car and we were having a conversation and he was just like you know, I just gotta say that was the most interesting date I've ever been on. I was like I'm so sorry. He's like no, no, I'm glad I was here to support you. Truly, I'm so glad it was me and not some jackass. And I was like you telling me and he's like are you gonna be okay by yourself going home? Is there anything else I can do? Do you need me to stay with you? Like not to be creepy, like I mean he really wanted to make sure I was okay.
Leaha:But we both knew in that moment that there was no romance. We were not gonna be hooking up and being in love. We went through something traumatic together and we were so grateful to know each other and we would see each other a couple of times maybe after that as friends and we wanted to stay forever connected. But that was before the internet and all that jazz and it just it wasn't really gonna happen. He gave me a huge hug and he said you know what I'll call you later. And I was like cool. I knew he was an angel. Honestly, I wasn't sure if he was a real person. I was like maybe he was just some entity that God sent to me that only I could see and got me through this time and maybe I'll never see him again. I really don't know. But I'm so glad he was there because he was the only thing that I had.
Leaha:I finally got back to my car that night, put her in her car seat and I drove 45 minutes one way, highway 287 in the pitch black, dark in the middle of the morning and took her home and put her in the bed with me and I just held her differently. Then she slept beside me all night. I checked if she was breathing, I checked everything. You know. They told me there was really nothing you could do. But the stitches is just a healing. You just got to heal there's. Get them checked, make sure you know they look good in a week and six weeks whatever, and take them out and she should be good.
Leaha:So the actual slitting of the wrist and the getting the stitches in the hospital and all that, that's not why God wanted to show me. He wanted to show me that she is fully, 100%, my child that he has given me full responsibility and reign in her life to be her mama, and I had so often confused my mom being her mom not because I was like you're trying to be the mom and take out, no, we were all moming her, trying to anyways. And in that moment that's when I claimed I'm her mommy. She might not know that. I hope she listens to this one day and she hears this and she realizes some of the stuff that I had to do when I was growing up, because I was only 17 when I had her. So I was just a kid with a kid. So the fact that I have a podcast about growing up, it's kind of not ironic at all, because I've been trying to grow up my whole damn life. I've also had children my whole life. I started early and I finished last. So I had one at 17,. I had one at 40, call me crazy because I am.
Leaha:My parents returned and they were in freaking shock Leah, why could you have how? Ah, they wished that there was a way they could have known so they could come back and rescue me, and I just let them know that there was nothing they could have done. It was me. I had to do it all and I realized that I had to do it and I was on a blind date and they're like why were you on a blind date while we were gone? You could have been murdered or taken away. You know classic early internet days of don't be strangers on the internet before you know them in person situations. But I told them don't worry, we went through such a traumatic event, we're never going to date again. But we decided to be friends and he was really nice to me and good to me and made sure I was okay and I would have been in the hospital with needles and blood and holding my child down screaming bloody murder. I don't think I could have done it without him. I didn't really see him much again.
Leaha:The blind date guy. He kind of dissipated and I started dating other people and went on with my life and I always kept that little story in the back of my mind that heroic guy that just saved the day and he was so kind and for being that young like 19, 20 years old, 21, he was so mature, like where'd that guy fall from? You know it was when Maddie was eight. I told you to wait till the end of the story, right? I hope you're still here. Maddie was like eight.
Leaha:I was having lunch in Fort Worth which was further than that exit, like way further and me and my best friend were at Chili's having lunch and we always had Chili's lunch together every time. I met up with him once a month and it was our like go-to spot and I don't know what made this day any different. I really don't know. I feel like it was a God wink and he was just showing me how cool he is. And the waiter comes up to the table and says "'Can I get you guys something to drink' and I had my head down. I said yeah, and I'm like looking". And he goes "'Leah' and I look up and it was my blind date". He said, oh my God. He grabbed his head. He's like are you serious? And I was like, oh my.
Leaha:At first I didn't know who he was.
Leaha:I was like hi, oh.
Leaha:And he's like you don't know who I am. I was like, oh my God, I hate when people ask me that question. I was like hold on, just give me a second. He was like that's Maddie. And then, when he said her name, I knew who he was. It was the genuine look in his face when he said her name that I remembered. That was the face that comforted me through one of the scariest things I've ever been through. And Maddie's sitting next to me and she was three. She has no idea. I hadn't even really like explained the story in full to her probably yet.
Leaha:And I look at him and I was like I can never thank you enough. He's like man, that was so scary. And finally he like emoted and told me how he felt in that moment. And he was like it was so scary. I was so scared for you. He's like, and I just know it was so hard for you and to let you go that night by yourself. And just, oh man, I was like you know what? It was one of the greatest lessons of my life.
Leaha:I became a mom that day. And he was like oh man, I'm so glad it turned out good. And I was like yeah, it really did. I can't thank you enough. And he's like so what are you doing, maddie? What are you up to these days? And he's like God, she's so big. She was just a toddler and I was like I know she's a grown child now and makes her own decisions. And we just had this beautiful moment of reflection together, because sometimes you don't get that moment again where someone comes in your life and part of a miracle, but then they just never come back. I really wasn't sure if he was real. I think that's when he introduced himself to me again that I was like, oh my God, he's real, because in my mind it was just kind of like an angel of sorts and he just appeared and then disappeared just as fast as he was there. But now he was back waiting on my table at Chili's and this wasn't for me, this wasn't for me to go. Oh, he's real, he's a real guy. It was for him. He was like I'm so glad she's okay and that you turned out great and you look so healthy and I'm just so happy for you to see you. And we hugged and I said how are you? He's like ha, I got married and we're talking about his life, like, oh my God, that's so amazing. And we just had a moment. He served us and waited on our table and then again life went on.
Leaha:It was many, many, many, many, many, many years later, when the internet came back, I get a friend request and I remember looking, I think it was Jeff. At the time I was like who is this guy? Cause I don't like getting random invites, but we had no friends in common. So now when that happens to me, I'm like delete, delete. They're just scam, delete. They're just wanting to take something from me. But this was before those days and I was like, okay, if someone adds you this, cause they think they know you, I go on his page and I am scanning and scrolling. I'm like who is this guy? And again I'm like, oh my God, it's the blind date guy. And he had sent me a message and I went to my DMs and I checked it out and there was a long message that says, in case you don't remember who I am, I didn't, I'm the guy, the blind date guy. And he's like I just had you in my heart and thought I'd search for your name. It was harder, cause you changed your name, but I found you. You look like you're so freaking happy. I'm so freaking happy for you, and in that moment we connected online and we've been friends ever since.
Leaha:So, you guys, the stories are just gonna get crazy and crazier from here. So that's my story of the time I went from being a parent to becoming a mommy. What a dramatic story, right. I'm so, so grateful that I am the person I am today, so that I can reflect back on the stories that defined who I am. And I just want to remind you that the stories of your life that you look back on and you look in the hardest, darkest, scariest times a lot of people like to call that your shadow. You go back and look at those places.
Leaha:I'm really proud of the person I've become, that I am mature enough and smart enough and well adjusted enough and growth whatever enough to look back and be like, wow, that happened for me not to me, because when it was happening it was happening to me. But as we develop and as we get smarter and as we grow and as we mature and as we seek knowledge and we seek growth, your story will start to change the perception around it, the colors in it, the vibrancy of it, the way it felt. There's still that feeling. I remember the feeling of being frightened and scared out of my mind that I was going to lose my daughter. I will never forget that, but because I've grown so much and I've told the story now out loud and I reflect on it. It's rooted in gratitude that God would love me so much to carry me not only through that and out of that, but he would also give me this beautiful blind date character who just keeps coming back in my life to remind me of what God did for me. He's my little reminder, my God wink. So I hope that that story was not too dramatic, traumatic for you, but it's the true story of my life and God just keeps showing up in all kinds of crazy ways. So don't go anywhere, stick with me and keep coming back each week as we navigate. Not only my stories. We're gonna start getting into your stories, and that's what's making me really, really excited. So thanks for being with me here on this long, long journey. You can now take your AirPods out and take a deep breath, but first, before you go, make sure, if this touched your heart in any way, that you hit the thumbs up and leave a comment.
Leaha:If you're listening on the podcast channels, this is a really great time to give me a star review. Was that a four star story? Was that a five star story? How are you feeling about it right now? Did it touch your heart stream. Do you wanna hear more stories like this? Please leave us a review on what you loved and what you wanna hear more of. If you wanna hear more of something, we wanna bring that to you. You are my audience and I want to serve you well. So thanks for being with me here today, thanks for hearing my heart, thanks for going through this crazy story with me, and thank you for coming back next week so we can continue this conversation. That's a wrap. Make a podcast, make a podcast. Make a podcast, make a podcast. Yay, yay Say grow up, people, grow up, people Grow up. Mommy, grow up, mommy.
